Skip to content
Nov 11, 2011
dbrand is founded. This date is not made up.
Feb 26, 2012
David Brand creates a Twitter account, securing his future retirement fund when dbrand inevitably buys it from him.
Dec 29, 2013
Marques Brownlee places a dbrand order. Incidentally, he later becomes the most popular tech YouTuber in the world. (source)
Aug 04, 2014 video
Aug 04, 2014
Linus Tech Tips accepts his first sponsorship from dbrand. Incidentally, he's still the shortest tech YouTuber in the world.
Jan 15, 2016
dbrand purchases their first company car. It's a Lamborghini. (source)
Aug 11, 2016
dbrand's 11,111th tweet is published. (source)
Jan 01, 2017
dbrand sends $50,000 in cash to an unsuspecting customer. (source)
Mar 03, 2017
dbrand reaches the top of r/all on Reddit by telling people not to buy our products. (source)
Nov 05, 2017 video
Nov 05, 2017
dbrand crowdfunds the first incarnation of the Grip Case, raising over a million dollars. (source)
Dec 26, 2017
It's Boxing Day in Canada. dbrand sells empty cardboard boxes for five dollars each. 20,000 people buy them. (source)
May 11, 2018 video
May 11, 2018
Frankie Ippolito loses a bet and becomes the first human to get a dbrand logo tattoo.
Sep 13, 2018
With 6,523% growth over 5 years, dbrand is named one of the Top 10 fastest growing companies in the country. (source)
Jan 08, 2019 video
Jan 08, 2019
dbrand launches an invincible screen protector.
Jan 08, 2019 video
Jan 08, 2019
dbrand launches the world's first customizable full-body phone case.
Aug 24, 2019
dbrand commits another murder. This time, there are witnesses. (source)
Sep 20, 2019
dbrand releases Robot, kicking off a paradigm shift towards a line of original, dbrand-exclusive designs. (source)
Dec 02, 2019
dbrand partners with JerryRigEverything to release Teardown skins. A unit is sold every 1.8 seconds on launch day. (source)
Dec 26, 2019
It's been two years since the Boxing Day Box. dbrand decides to sell more boxes. They contain cubes. (source)
Feb 07, 2020
dbrand launches Robot Camo skins. A random Canadian decides to base his entire identity around them. (source)
Apr 01, 2020
Less than a month after COVID-19 is declared a pandemic, dbrand sells the Doomsday Kit. It features a single sheet of the world's most expensive toilet paper. (source)
Apr 21, 2020
dbrand shamelessly plagiarizes Nintendo with (not) Animal Crossing. Miraculously, no lawsuits ensue. (source)
Jul 27, 2020
A random Twitter user asks dbrand for free shit. His wish is granted. (source)
Sep 16, 2020
dbrand convinces PewDiePie to put his signature waves pattern on a skin and promote it to 100,000,000 9-year-olds. It's a resounding success. (source)
Nov 27, 2020
Seven years after buying his first skin, Marques Brownlee collaborates with dbrand on ICONS: the first licensed MKBHD product. (source)
Dec 25, 2020
Sony repeatedly threatens no-name PS5 faceplate manufacturers out of business. Out of sheer spite, dbrand launches their own black PS5 faceplates called "Darkplates". (source)
Feb 12, 2021 video
Feb 12, 2021
Darkplates 1.0 are released with the tagline "Go ahead, sue us." (source)
Apr 01, 2021
In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, dbrand empowers people to die on their own terms by selling three masks for the price of three. (source)
Jun 17, 2021
dbrand releases holographic Damascus skins for a limited time only. Additionally, we skin a gun and sell it for $10,000. (source)
Aug 18, 2021
dbrand announces Real Leather skins, killing cows and PETA in the process. (source)
Oct 16, 2021
dbrand pulls Darkplates 1.0 from sale after Sony is granted a design patent for their PS5 side panels. In 48 hours, Sony's lawyers will regret having wasted all that effort. (source)
Oct 18, 2021
dbrand reveals Darkplates 2.0, featuring a new, legally distinct design. Sony's lawyers are in absolute shambles. (source)
Feb 07, 2022
dbrand announces Project Killswitch, the world's first modular case for Valve's Steam Deck. You're welcome, Gabe. (source)
Mar 02, 2022
Alongside Mrwhosetheboss, dbrand begins the biggest tech giveaway in history. Thousands take to Twitter to inform us that their dying grandfathers deserve to win a new smartphone.
Apr 01, 2022
After years of customers claiming they could do our jobs, the DIY Kit proves them wrong. (source)
Jul 15, 2022
Contrary to popular belief, plagiarism is not a crime. dbrand proves it by creating Something: a shameless ripoff of the Nothing Phone(1). (source)
Jul 21, 2022
Teenage Mutant Ninja Pixels. That's it. That's the whole concept. (source)
Sep 14, 2022
Palettes, a collection designed with doctor-turned-YouTuber Ali Abdaal, launches. Psychotic light-mode users around the world rejoice. (source)
Sep 28, 2022
Project Killswitch is released. Within a day, it is recalled. dbrand spends $1,000,000 to redesign the product. All customers have their orders replaced, free of charge. (source)
Nov 09, 2022
The world's richest man attempts to charge Twitter users $8 to verify their account. dbrand responds by selling real-life Verified stickers for the same price. Checkmate, Elon. (source)
Nov 11, 2022
Eleven years after our 11/11/11 inception date, we publish a 100-page, 8121-word, 115-image, 2566-gram Manifesto. It's sure to be banned one day. (source)
Nov 25, 2022
In response to overwhelming consumer demand, we bring back Damascus for Black Friday. To this day, our accountants are still laundering the proceeds. (source)
Jan 07, 2023
Colton Potter goes to Vegas and leaves with a dbrand tattoo. He still won't tell us why he did it. (source)
Jan 23, 2023
The Steam Deck is many things, but it's not a Nintendo Switch. dbrand fixes that with the Switch Deck. Our lawyers continue to resign on the spot. (source)
Feb 15, 2023
Inspired by the success of the Boxing Day Cube, dbrand releases Cubes for every design across our entire portfolio. A random Twitter user makes it his mission to collect them all. (source)
Mar 03, 2023
dbrand announces metal artisan keycaps. Keyboard enthusiasts the world over mourn their wallets. (source)
May 12, 2023
dbrand tempts fate yet again with Clone of the Kingdom. As with (not) Animal Crossing, there's a miraculous lack of lawsuits. (source)
Jun 14, 2023
It's been twenty-six years since you were last truly happy. In keeping with our capitalist exploitations, dbrand monetizes this nostalgia with Retro Darkplates: a 90's era twist on Darkplates 2.0. (source)
Jun 26, 2023
dbrand launches three new skin designs under the Robot City banner: Abusement Park, Crimes Square, and Deadquarters. Collectively, they feature the highest amount of death per square inch of any design in our portfolio. (source)
Jul 05, 2023
David Brand fumbles the bag: dbrand establishes an account on Threads. (source)
Jul 11, 2023
Coinciding with the release of the Nothing Phone (2), dbrand unveils a dark mode variant of Something. Nothing personal, Carl. (source)
Jul 14, 2023
After refusing help from @robot, a customer spends twenty days trying to get our attention. He later wishes he hadn't. (source)
Sep 08, 2023
dbrand launches Arachnoplates after [MEGACORP] fails to produce enough of their [LICENSED VIDEO GAME] side panels to satisfy demand. (source)
Sep 12, 2023
dbrand launches a clear case called the Ghost and promises that you'll die before it yellows. To date, there have been zero victims. (source)
Oct 04, 2023
After learning the hard way that The Verge doesn't take bribes for favorable media coverage, dbrand instead collaborates with them on a pair of skin designs. (source)
Nov 11, 2023
253 days after announcement, dbrand finally launches metal artisan keycaps. Incidentally, the launch coincided with the anniversary of dbrand's founding date: November 11th. (source)
Nov 23, 2023
dbrand partners with Zack "JerryRigEverything" Nelson to launch their second collaboration: X-Ray. Nobody suspects the much larger announcement coming 9 hours later. (source)
Nov 23, 2023 video
Nov 23, 2023
JerryRigEverything publishes a video alleging that Casetify, the world's largest (and soon-to-be most hated) case manufacturer, has been ripping off dbrand's Teardown designs. For once, dbrand gets to be the plaintiff in a lawsuit. (source)
Nov 24, 2023
For the 48-hour period following Zack's video upload, Casetify is trending across social media. You'll never guess why. (source)
Nov 28, 2023
As it turns out, getting verified on Instagram is much easier after you've murdered a billion-dollar corporation. It only took us 11 years to figure out this one weird trick. (source)
Feb 29, 2024
dbrand and Marques Brownlee join forces once again to launch a set of four artisan metal keycaps. Unsurprisingly, two of them are matte black. (source)
Mar 07, 2024
Emboldened by [MEGACORP]'s total absence of legal pursuit, dbrand extends the Arachnoplates design to the entire portfolio. Considering that the “plates” suffix is no longer valid, the name “Carnage” is born. (source)
Apr 05, 2024
After 70 years of research into hallucinogenic mind control drugs, dbrand releases Hydrodip skins. Official records maintain that these two activities are unrelated. (source)
Apr 16, 2024
dbrand finalizes their skins for the Humane AI Pin just in time for the review embargo to lift. The reviews are so overwhelmingly negative that dbrand has no choice but to destroy all stock and inhumanely shame the VC-backed corporation responsible. (source)
Jul 10, 2024
Inspired by the sale of a $1,000,000 video game weapon skin, dbrand launches Case Hardened. With 3.2% of orders including a "Blue Gem" variant, it becomes dbrand's rarest skin by default. (source)
Jul 15, 2024
Despite best efforts, dbrand officially saves a life. When Noah Merwin found himself in the middle of a lake, atop a sinking paddleboard, he spent what could have been his final moments thinking of his dbrand Grip. Specifically, the skin on the back of it, which he used to patch up the hole. (source)
Sep 09, 2024
Having spent the better part of a decade selling screen protectors to idiots, we take matters into our own hands. Introducing Prism 2.0: the idiot-proof screen protector.™ (source)
Sep 09, 2024
After a casual raid of Area 51, dbrand acquires an alien printer which is capable of printing ink in three dimensions. We use it to manufacture a skin depicting a topographic map of the military base. The U.S. Government remains displeased. (source)
Oct 17, 2024
The PS5 finally loses its "ugliest console ever created" crown to the PS5 Slim. Never ones to turn down a challenge, dbrand develops Darkplates 2.0 for the new reigning champ. (source)
Oct 23, 2024
That zero-yellowing clear case we mentioned a while back? It gets relaunched as the Ghost 2.0, now featuring best-in-class scratch resistance. dbrand embarks on an unprecedented multi-million dollar zero-cost replacement program for every human who ever purchased a Ghost 1.0. (source)