What is this?
On Boxing Day 2017, we sold cardboard boxes and called it the Boxing Day Box. 20,000 of you bought them. It's now 2019 and the long-awaited sequel that literally nobody asked for is finally here: the Boxing Day Cube. What does a Cube offer that a Box can't? Well, for starters, it's not made of cardboard. That's right: the Boxing Day Cube is 100% plastic, from our cube-farm to your table. Do some math and you'll discover that the Boxing Day Cube is actually 26 cubes for the price of one. That's a $518.70 value. Oh - and it comes in a box that opens like a Lamborghini.
The Matte Black Cube
You're too weak-willed to resist fiddling with your Cube and too stupid to solve it once scrambled. For you, six sides is five too many. If it takes more than three clicks to buy something, you'll quit in frustration. A glass-half-full type would call this Matte Black Cube "permanently solved." You, meanwhile, didn't even have the attention span to make it this far in the paragraph.
The Custom Cube
We know your type. You're a reddit user with over 30,000 karma. A walking thesaurus. A Mensa member. The type who isn't afraid to experiment with different Cube configurations. Most importantly, you're inclined to give us an extra five dollars for the privilege of customizing your Boxing Day Cube. We like you more than the Matte Black Cubers.
On paper, your aptitude for solving simple puzzles is identical to that of a Matte Black Cuber... but with a twist - you’re filthy rich. Whether you lucked out on cryptocurrency or recently inherited the wealth from your less-dimwitted parents, somehow you ended up with way more money than you deserve. We want a piece of that action. You, on the other hand, want a Cube with four sides - and you won't take "but that's geometrically impossible" for an answer.
Limited Edition Drop
Make a choice
- 26 Cubes for the price of one
- Already solved
- Can't be solved
- Better than the Matte Black Cube
- Limitless customization
- Smart people only
- Pyramid, but also a Cube
- Limited edition Robot Skin
- Limited stock available
This three-dimensional product is discontinued, but your four-dimensional mistake is eternal.
Is this a skin?
It's a cube. Unless you're rich, then it's a pyramid.
Technically, it's dozens of skins.
Yes. Also, no.
Why a cube?
It's Boxing Day. What else are we supposed to sell? Boxes?
The box factory didn't want to work with us anymore.
Cubes make us more money than boxes.
I don't want a cube, I want a box. Can I get a box?
Have you seen the box these things come in? Throw out the cube and keep the box. Money well spent.
You're in luck. The Boxing Day Cube doesn't just come in a box - it comes in a box inside a box. Kind of like one of those weird Russian dolls, but it's boxes. With a cube in the center.
We don't sell boxes anymore. The box bubble? It burst. We're all-in on cubes now. You'll have to wait for the Boxing Day Time Machine if you want a box.
Since when is a pyramid a cube?
How dare you.
December 26, 2019.
Are you a cop? You have to tell us if you're a cop.
I already have a different cube. What now?
The Boxing Day Cube is absolutely not compatible with other cubes, so don't even try.
Throw it out and buy this one instead.
It's a well-known fact that the more cubes you own, the smarter you are. You need all the cubes you can get.
What does the cube do?
Bankrolls our reckless spending habits.
Everything a box can do, but geometrically.
Looks great on a shelf with all the books you never read.
What can I do with my cube?
Never solve it and tell people you did.
What can't you do with your cube?
That's between you and the cube.
How big is the cube?
Too small to be impressive, too big to be disappointing.
We tried to make it small enough to be a choking hazard. No dice.
Depends which cube you buy.
This seems like a waste of money.
That's not a question.
Sounds like your kind of purchase.
How much for shipping? I need free shipping. I'd rather pay an extra $10 for the cube than pay $5 for shipping.
Shipping is $20 for everybody who asks us this.
Don't worry - shipping is free*.
*Shipping is absolutely not free**.
**Free shipping is available for orders over $25.
Check out the $5 Extras. They're both extortion and an easy path to free shipping.
When will my cube ship?
After you buy one.
It really depends.
I still have questions!
Send us an email and we'll be sure to delete it.
We're not surprised.
Too bad, we've got cubes to ship.