Why are you here?
It's time for the inmates
to run the asylum.
Killing scientists. Kidnapping the children of CEOs. Destroying the sun. Making Linus G. Sebastian miserable. What do all of these things have in common? You aren't doing them. To be fair, you probably never will. There is, however, an impossibly slim chance that you could. All you need to do? Scroll to the bottom of this page. Read the job listings. Pray that the one you apply for isn't a trap, designed to source our next victim. It's like Russian Roulette, but with an interview process.
Start Scrolling
Nov 11, 2011
dbrand is founded. This date is not made up.
Nov 11, 2011
dbrand is founded. This date is not made up.
Feb 26, 2012
David Brand creates a Twitter account, securing his future retirement fund when dbrand inevitably buys it from him.
Feb 26, 2012
David Brand creates a Twitter account, securing his future retirement fund when dbrand inevitably buys it from him.
Apr 01, 2020
Less than a month after COVID-19 is declared a pandemic, dbrand sells the Doomsday Kit. It features a single sheet of the world's most expensive toilet paper. (source)
Apr 01, 2020
Less than a month after COVID-19 is declared a pandemic, dbrand sells the Doomsday Kit. It features a single sheet of the world's most expensive toilet paper. (source)
Sep 16, 2020
dbrand convinces PewDiePie to put his signature waves pattern on a skin and promote it to 100,000,000 9-year-olds. It's a resounding success. (source)
Sep 16, 2020
dbrand convinces PewDiePie to put his signature waves pattern on a skin and promote it to 100,000,000 9-year-olds. It's a resounding success. (source)
Dec 25, 2020
Sony repeatedly threatens no-name PS5 faceplate manufacturers out of business. Out of sheer spite, dbrand launches their own black PS5 faceplates called "Darkplates". (source)
Dec 25, 2020
Sony repeatedly threatens no-name PS5 faceplate manufacturers out of business. Out of sheer spite, dbrand launches their own black PS5 faceplates called "Darkplates". (source)
Apr 01, 2021
In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, dbrand empowers people to die on their own terms by selling three masks for the price of three. (source)
Apr 01, 2021
In the midst of the COVID-19 pandemic, dbrand empowers people to die on their own terms by selling three masks for the price of three. (source)
Oct 16, 2021
dbrand pulls Darkplates 1.0 from sale after Sony is granted a design patent for their PS5 side panels. In 48 hours, Sony's lawyers will regret having wasted all that effort. (source)
Oct 16, 2021
dbrand pulls Darkplates 1.0 from sale after Sony is granted a design patent for their PS5 side panels. In 48 hours, Sony's lawyers will regret having wasted all that effort. (source)
Mar 02, 2022
Alongside Mrwhosetheboss, dbrand begins the biggest tech giveaway in history. Thousands take to Twitter to inform us that their dying grandfathers deserve to win a new smartphone. (source)
Mar 02, 2022
Alongside Mrwhosetheboss, dbrand begins the biggest tech giveaway in history. Thousands take to Twitter to inform us that their dying grandfathers deserve to win a new smartphone. (source)
Jul 15, 2022
Contrary to popular belief, plagiarism is not a crime. dbrand proves it by creating Something: a shameless ripoff of the Nothing Phone(1). (source)
Jul 15, 2022
Contrary to popular belief, plagiarism is not a crime. dbrand proves it by creating Something: a shameless ripoff of the Nothing Phone(1). (source)
Sep 14, 2022
Palettes, a collection designed with doctor-turned-YouTuber Ali Abdaal, launches. Psychotic light-mode users around the world rejoice. (source)
Sep 14, 2022
Palettes, a collection designed with doctor-turned-YouTuber Ali Abdaal, launches. Psychotic light-mode users around the world rejoice. (source)
Sep 28, 2022
Project Killswitch is released. Within a day, it is recalled. dbrand spends $1,000,000 to redesign the product. All customers have their orders replaced, free of charge. (source)
Sep 28, 2022
Project Killswitch is released. Within a day, it is recalled. dbrand spends $1,000,000 to redesign the product. All customers have their orders replaced, free of charge. (source)
Nov 09, 2022
The world's richest man attempts to charge Twitter users $8 to verify their account. dbrand responds by selling real-life Verified stickers for the same price. Checkmate, Elon. (source)
Nov 09, 2022
The world's richest man attempts to charge Twitter users $8 to verify their account. dbrand responds by selling real-life Verified stickers for the same price. Checkmate, Elon. (source)
Nov 11, 2022
Eleven years after our 11/11/11 inception date, we publish a 100-page, 8121-word, 115-image, 2566-gram Manifesto. It's sure to be banned one day. (source)
Nov 11, 2022
Eleven years after our 11/11/11 inception date, we publish a 100-page, 8121-word, 115-image, 2566-gram Manifesto. It's sure to be banned one day. (source)
Nov 25, 2022
In response to overwhelming consumer demand, we bring back Damascus for Black Friday. To this day, our accountants are still laundering the proceeds. (source)
Nov 25, 2022
In response to overwhelming consumer demand, we bring back Damascus for Black Friday. To this day, our accountants are still laundering the proceeds. (source)
Jan 23, 2023
The Steam Deck is many things, but it's not a Nintendo Switch. dbrand fixes that with the Switch Deck. Our lawyers continue to resign on the spot. (source)
Jan 23, 2023
The Steam Deck is many things, but it's not a Nintendo Switch. dbrand fixes that with the Switch Deck. Our lawyers continue to resign on the spot. (source)
Feb 15, 2023
Inspired by the success of the Boxing Day Cube, dbrand releases Cubes for every design across our entire portfolio. A random Twitter user makes it his mission to collect them all. (source)
Feb 15, 2023
Inspired by the success of the Boxing Day Cube, dbrand releases Cubes for every design across our entire portfolio. A random Twitter user makes it his mission to collect them all. (source)
Jun 14, 2023
It's been twenty-six years since you were last truly happy. In keeping with our capitalist exploitations, dbrand monetizes this nostalgia with Retro Darkplates: a 90's era twist on Darkplates 2.0. (source)
Jun 14, 2023
It's been twenty-six years since you were last truly happy. In keeping with our capitalist exploitations, dbrand monetizes this nostalgia with Retro Darkplates: a 90's era twist on Darkplates 2.0. (source)
Sep 08, 2023
dbrand launches Arachnoplates after [MEGACORP] fails to produce enough of their [LICENSED VIDEO GAME] side panels to satisfy demand. (source)
Sep 08, 2023
dbrand launches Arachnoplates after [MEGACORP] fails to produce enough of their [LICENSED VIDEO GAME] side panels to satisfy demand. (source)
Sep 12, 2023
dbrand launches a clear case called the Ghost and promises that you'll die before it yellows. To date, there have been zero victims. (source)
Sep 12, 2023
dbrand launches a clear case called the Ghost and promises that you'll die before it yellows. To date, there have been zero victims. (source)
Oct 04, 2023
After learning the hard way that The Verge doesn't take bribes for favorable media coverage, dbrand instead collaborates with them on a pair of skin designs. (source)
Oct 04, 2023
After learning the hard way that The Verge doesn't take bribes for favorable media coverage, dbrand instead collaborates with them on a pair of skin designs. (source)
Nov 11, 2023
253 days after announcement, dbrand finally launches metal artisan keycaps. Incidentally, the launch coincided with the anniversary of dbrand's founding date: November 11th. (source)
Nov 11, 2023
253 days after announcement, dbrand finally launches metal artisan keycaps. Incidentally, the launch coincided with the anniversary of dbrand's founding date: November 11th. (source)
Nov 23, 2023
dbrand partners with Zack "JerryRigEverything" Nelson to launch their second collaboration: X-Ray. Nobody suspects the much larger announcement coming 9 hours later. (source)
Nov 23, 2023
dbrand partners with Zack "JerryRigEverything" Nelson to launch their second collaboration: X-Ray. Nobody suspects the much larger announcement coming 9 hours later. (source)
Nov 23, 2023
JerryRigEverything publishes a video alleging that Casetify, the world's largest (and soon-to-be most hated) case manufacturer, has been ripping off dbrand's Teardown designs. For once, dbrand gets to be the plaintiff in a lawsuit. (source)
Nov 23, 2023
JerryRigEverything publishes a video alleging that Casetify, the world's largest (and soon-to-be most hated) case manufacturer, has been ripping off dbrand's Teardown designs. For once, dbrand gets to be the plaintiff in a lawsuit. (source)
Nov 28, 2023
As it turns out, getting verified on Instagram is much easier after you've murdered a billion-dollar corporation. It only took us 11 years to figure out this one weird trick. (source)
Nov 28, 2023
As it turns out, getting verified on Instagram is much easier after you've murdered a billion-dollar corporation. It only took us 11 years to figure out this one weird trick. (source)
Feb 29, 2024
dbrand and Marques Brownlee join forces once again to launch a set of four artisan metal keycaps. Unsurprisingly, two of them are matte black. (source)
Feb 29, 2024
dbrand and Marques Brownlee join forces once again to launch a set of four artisan metal keycaps. Unsurprisingly, two of them are matte black. (source)
Mar 07, 2024
Emboldened by [MEGACORP]'s total absence of legal pursuit, dbrand extends the Arachnoplates design to the entire portfolio. Considering that the “plates” suffix is no longer valid, the name “Carnage” is born. (source)
Mar 07, 2024
Emboldened by [MEGACORP]'s total absence of legal pursuit, dbrand extends the Arachnoplates design to the entire portfolio. Considering that the “plates” suffix is no longer valid, the name “Carnage” is born. (source)
Apr 05, 2024
After 70 years of research into hallucinogenic mind control drugs, dbrand releases Hydrodip skins. Official records maintain that these two activities are unrelated. (source)
Apr 05, 2024
After 70 years of research into hallucinogenic mind control drugs, dbrand releases Hydrodip skins. Official records maintain that these two activities are unrelated. (source)
Apr 16, 2024
dbrand finalizes their skins for the Humane AI Pin just in time for the review embargo to lift. The reviews are so overwhelmingly negative that dbrand has no choice but to destroy all stock and inhumanely shame the VC-backed corporation responsible. (source)
Apr 16, 2024
dbrand finalizes their skins for the Humane AI Pin just in time for the review embargo to lift. The reviews are so overwhelmingly negative that dbrand has no choice but to destroy all stock and inhumanely shame the VC-backed corporation responsible. (source)
Jul 10, 2024
Inspired by the sale of a $1,000,000 video game weapon skin, dbrand launches Case Hardened. With 3.2% of orders including a "Blue Gem" variant, it becomes dbrand's rarest skin by default. (source)
Jul 10, 2024
Inspired by the sale of a $1,000,000 video game weapon skin, dbrand launches Case Hardened. With 3.2% of orders including a "Blue Gem" variant, it becomes dbrand's rarest skin by default. (source)
Jul 15, 2024
Despite best efforts, dbrand officially saves a life. When Noah Merwin found himself in the middle of a lake, atop a sinking paddleboard, he spent what could have been his final moments thinking of his dbrand Grip. Specifically, the skin on the back of it, which he used to patch up the hole. (source)
Jul 15, 2024
Despite best efforts, dbrand officially saves a life. When Noah Merwin found himself in the middle of a lake, atop a sinking paddleboard, he spent what could have been his final moments thinking of his dbrand Grip. Specifically, the skin on the back of it, which he used to patch up the hole. (source)
Sep 09, 2024
Having spent the better part of a decade selling screen protectors to idiots, we take matters into our own hands. Introducing Prism 2.0: the idiot-proof screen protector.™ (source)
Sep 09, 2024
Having spent the better part of a decade selling screen protectors to idiots, we take matters into our own hands. Introducing Prism 2.0: the idiot-proof screen protector.™ (source)
Sep 09, 2024
After a casual raid of Area 51, dbrand acquires an alien printer which is capable of printing ink in three dimensions. We use it to manufacture a skin depicting a topographic map of the military base. The U.S. Government remains displeased. (source)
Sep 09, 2024
After a casual raid of Area 51, dbrand acquires an alien printer which is capable of printing ink in three dimensions. We use it to manufacture a skin depicting a topographic map of the military base. The U.S. Government remains displeased. (source)
Oct 17, 2024
The PS5 finally loses its "ugliest console ever created" crown to the PS5 Slim. Never ones to turn down a challenge, dbrand develops Darkplates 2.0 for the new reigning champ. (source)
Oct 17, 2024
The PS5 finally loses its "ugliest console ever created" crown to the PS5 Slim. Never ones to turn down a challenge, dbrand develops Darkplates 2.0 for the new reigning champ. (source)
Oct 23, 2024
That zero-yellowing clear case we mentioned a while back? It gets relaunched as the Ghost 2.0, now featuring best-in-class scratch resistance. dbrand embarks on an unprecedented multi-million dollar zero-cost replacement program for every human who ever purchased a Ghost 1.0. (source)
Oct 23, 2024
That zero-yellowing clear case we mentioned a while back? It gets relaunched as the Ghost 2.0, now featuring best-in-class scratch resistance. dbrand embarks on an unprecedented multi-million dollar zero-cost replacement program for every human who ever purchased a Ghost 1.0. (source)
Nov 18, 2024
dbrand and Linus "Tech Tips" Sebastian team up on glow-in-the-dark Circuit Board skins. To celebrate, we give his Porsche Taycan a wrap of questionable street legality. (source)
Nov 18, 2024
dbrand and Linus "Tech Tips" Sebastian team up on glow-in-the-dark Circuit Board skins. To celebrate, we give his Porsche Taycan a wrap of questionable street legality. (source)
Nov 29, 2024
Our collaboration with Linus doesn't stop at a car wrap - we also invite him over to Toronto for our first-ever factory tour video. Yes, he's that short in real life. (source)
Nov 29, 2024
Our collaboration with Linus doesn't stop at a car wrap - we also invite him over to Toronto for our first-ever factory tour video. Yes, he's that short in real life. (source)
Dec 12, 2024
YouTuber UFDTech realizes, five years after the fact, that he "sold" us a GPU in 2019 that he forgot to bill us for. We settle the debt by donating to the SynGAP Research Fund at his request. As a result, we still get to claim we ripped him off for a free GPU. (source)
Dec 12, 2024
YouTuber UFDTech realizes, five years after the fact, that he "sold" us a GPU in 2019 that he forgot to bill us for. We settle the debt by donating to the SynGAP Research Fund at his request. As a result, we still get to claim we ripped him off for a free GPU. (source)
Feb 07, 2025
dbrand partners with design engineer and 3D artist Kyle Goodrich to release Aperture, a trypophobia-inducing face cover for the Apple Vision Pro. Marques Brownlee describes it as "the ugliest thing [we've] ever made." (source)
Feb 07, 2025
dbrand partners with design engineer and 3D artist Kyle Goodrich to release Aperture, a trypophobia-inducing face cover for the Apple Vision Pro. Marques Brownlee describes it as "the ugliest thing [we've] ever made." (source)
Apr 01, 2025
After years of goading our customers to go outside and touch some grass for once in their miserable lives, dbrand finally takes the easy way out: electrostatically flocking millions of fake grass strands onto a vinyl base. Unsurprisingly, we call it "Touch Grass." (source)
Apr 01, 2025
After years of goading our customers to go outside and touch some grass for once in their miserable lives, dbrand finally takes the easy way out: electrostatically flocking millions of fake grass strands onto a vinyl base. Unsurprisingly, we call it "Touch Grass." (source)
Apr 02, 2025
The "Killswitch" product line comes full circle, as dbrand officially unveils the Killswitch case for the Nintendo Switch 2. It immediately becomes our most popular product. (source)
Apr 02, 2025
The "Killswitch" product line comes full circle, as dbrand officially unveils the Killswitch case for the Nintendo Switch 2. It immediately becomes our most popular product. (source)
May 09, 2025
dbrand's original Robot design from 2019 gets a glow-in-the-dark reboot. After outselling the original 10:1, Glowbot proves that remakes still outperform original ideas in 2025. (source)
May 09, 2025
dbrand's original Robot design from 2019 gets a glow-in-the-dark reboot. After outselling the original 10:1, Glowbot proves that remakes still outperform original ideas in 2025. (source)
Jun 22, 2025
Early reports start filtering in that after attaching a Killswitch, Switch 2 Joy-Cons detach when held by one hand. dbrand tells people to stop holding it wrong. Reddit is outraged. (source)
Jun 22, 2025
Early reports start filtering in that after attaching a Killswitch, Switch 2 Joy-Cons detach when held by one hand. dbrand tells people to stop holding it wrong. Reddit is outraged. (source)
Jul 10, 2025
Reversing course from the "holding it wrong" response, dbrand commits to fixing the Joy-Con detachment issue and sending out free replacements to all Switch 2 Killswitch customers. (source)
Jul 10, 2025
Reversing course from the "holding it wrong" response, dbrand commits to fixing the Joy-Con detachment issue and sending out free replacements to all Switch 2 Killswitch customers. (source)
Aug 20, 2025
Linus G. Sebastian turns 39 years old. More importantly, dbrand adds two new colorways to the Damascus lineup: 3D-textured Triple White and rainbow-hued Holo White. Linus' Taycan gets wrapped in Holo White to celebrate the launch... but not his birthday. (source)
Aug 20, 2025
Linus G. Sebastian turns 39 years old. More importantly, dbrand adds two new colorways to the Damascus lineup: 3D-textured Triple White and rainbow-hued Holo White. Linus' Taycan gets wrapped in Holo White to celebrate the launch... but not his birthday. (source)
Sep 12, 2025
dbrand launches the ultra-protective Tank Case alongside the iPhone 17 series. Opinions oscillate between “this looks amazing” and “this is the ugliest phone case I’ve ever seen.” (source)
Sep 12, 2025
dbrand launches the ultra-protective Tank Case alongside the iPhone 17 series. Opinions oscillate between “this looks amazing” and “this is the ugliest phone case I’ve ever seen.” (source)
Sep 19, 2025
dbrand products are, for the first time ever, widely available offline. Appropriately, it’s a nationwide rollout at US Best Buy locations. Much to Best Buy's surprise, the entire nation is sold out within 72 hours of launch. (source)
Sep 19, 2025
dbrand products are, for the first time ever, widely available offline. Appropriately, it’s a nationwide rollout at US Best Buy locations. Much to Best Buy's surprise, the entire nation is sold out within 72 hours of launch. (source)
Oct 06, 2025
Apple launches Cosmic Orange exclusively for the iPhone 17 Pro and iPhone 17 Pro Max. Naturally, dbrand rips it off and ports it to over 100 non-Apple devices. (source)
Oct 06, 2025
Apple launches Cosmic Orange exclusively for the iPhone 17 Pro and iPhone 17 Pro Max. Naturally, dbrand rips it off and ports it to over 100 non-Apple devices. (source)
Oct 15, 2025
After seeing the success of the Switch 2, Microsoft decides they want in on the Killswitch gold mine. dbrand joins the Designed For Xbox program and develops a Killswitch for the Xbox Ally X. Against all odds, the launch is free of any controversy. (source)
Oct 15, 2025
After seeing the success of the Switch 2, Microsoft decides they want in on the Killswitch gold mine. dbrand joins the Designed For Xbox program and develops a Killswitch for the Xbox Ally X. Against all odds, the launch is free of any controversy. (source)
Nov 11, 2025
To celebrate dbrand’s anniversary, 2025’s Black Friday sale launches three weeks early, with every order including a free deck of extravagant dbrand-themed playing cards. For a brief moment, dbrand becomes the highest volume playing card brand on earth. (source)
Nov 11, 2025
To celebrate dbrand’s anniversary, 2025’s Black Friday sale launches three weeks early, with every order including a free deck of extravagant dbrand-themed playing cards. For a brief moment, dbrand becomes the highest volume playing card brand on earth. (source)
Nov 13, 2025
Valve announces their new Steam Machine. Within 24 hours, dbrand concepts a Companion Cube case for it. Valve’s missed opportunity generates countless press articles and results in over 100,000 notification list signups. (source)
Nov 13, 2025
Valve announces their new Steam Machine. Within 24 hours, dbrand concepts a Companion Cube case for it. Valve’s missed opportunity generates countless press articles and results in over 100,000 notification list signups. (source)
Nov 23, 2025
After months of limited availability, dbrand products are finally restocked at Best Buy. We immediately reclaim the titles of “top-selling phone case” and “top-selling Switch 2 case” in all of Best Buy. (source)
Nov 23, 2025
After months of limited availability, dbrand products are finally restocked at Best Buy. We immediately reclaim the titles of “top-selling phone case” and “top-selling Switch 2 case” in all of Best Buy. (source)
Nov 27, 2025
For Thanksgiving, dbrand sends customers a surprisingly thoughtful text message. Millions of families across the United States are saved from awkward political conversations over dinner. (source)
Nov 27, 2025
For Thanksgiving, dbrand sends customers a surprisingly thoughtful text message. Millions of families across the United States are saved from awkward political conversations over dinner. (source)
Dec 18, 2025
A prospective job applicant reaches the end of our company timeline. They suspect that they've lost control of their life.
Dec 18, 2025
A prospective job applicant reaches the end of our company timeline. They suspect that they've lost control of their life.
Why work with us?
BECAUSE THE CUSTOMER IS USUALLY WRONG.
01
A simple thesis that has built us a sizable cult following. If conventional wisdom can be challenged, we'll give you the tools (and a paycheck) to find a better way. Working at dbrand means that, if you've got an idea worth exploring, we're not about to let a manager, lawyer, or MBA take it away from you.
BECAUSE YOU HATE JEFF BEZOS.
02
You're in luck: so do we. The way we see it, eCommerce has two roads ahead of it. Down one: a giant, Amazon-shaped vending machine. Down the other? Bespoke, curated, experience-driven brands that know their customers as well as they know their products. Join the team that isn't going to make you piss in a bottle.
BECAUSE YOU WANT A TASTE OF FAME.
03
Viral tweets. Front page of Reddit. Headlines on the Verge. You've accomplished none of these things. Assuming your neurons were activated when you scrolled through our timeline, you already know we can't flip a light switch without generating some sort of conversation. Come be part of something bigger than yourself.
BECAUSE YOU WANT TO KNOW THE FUTURE.
04
Working at dbrand is the closest you'll ever get to owning a crystal ball - except it's not a ball, it's an unreleased smartphone. Also, it's not made of crystal. Point is: whether you’re getting your hands on [REDACTED] or watching an unreleased cut of LTT's next video, early access comes with the job.
BECAUSE RENT IS DUE.
05
If r/antiwork has taught us anything, people expect to be paid in exchange for their time. That's why we make it a point to be upfront about compensation - and why our salaries are bolstered with industry-leading profit-share and GRSP benefits. Time to pick back up your shattered dreams of retirement.
BECAUSE DRUGS AREN'T FREE.
06
This is the contractually-obligated section where we talk about benefits and perks. We can't make them interesting, but we can confirm that they exist.
We ran out of jobs
Unfortunately for you, that department isn't hiring right now. Don't let that stop you from getting in touch - we might be able to work something out.
Register Your InterestNot what you're looking for? We've got other opportunities.
Here's a list of every role we're hiring for. If none of these seem up your alley, go find a job somewhere else.