Let's play a game. Assuming you're not bald, reach up and rip out exactly two pieces of hair. Next, twist them together. Congratulations: you now have an exact representation of how thin our skins are. Also, you're one step closer to baldness. Checkmate, Rogaine.

Every dbrand ThinkPad X1 Carbon (9th Gen) skin is lovingly hand-crafted by one of the industrial-grade cutting machines that you see here. It costs more than your student loan and cuts within 1/1000th of a millimeter in precision. Remember: it's only overkill if you can't afford it.

The result from those ludicrously expensive cutting machines we just told you about? You're looking at it. If we told you our skins fit like a glove, we'd be giving gloves too much credit.

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In the future, when keying cars is impossible because nobody's allowed to drive anymore, roving gangs of vandals will break into your home and scratch your electronics. Prepare yourself for this doomsday scenario with our ThinkPad X1 Carbon (9th Gen) skins.

If there's one thing that a life of crime has taught us, it's that you never want to leave evidence. This principle carries over to our ThinkPad X1 Carbon (9th Gen) skins, where removal is guaranteed to leave behind zero adhesive residue. dbrand: it's like getting away with murder.

We've spent more money than the Fed trying to save humans from themselves. The result? Detailed, award-winning tutorial videos that you can watch right here. Once you're finished, you'll understand why we gave ourselves a fake award.