If we had a nickel for every millimeter of thickness that Project Killswitch added to your Steam Deck (or Steam Deck OLED), we'd have two. We'd only need one, though: Project Killswitch is approximately as thin as a nickel. We just saved you five cents.

Every year, the US Military burns through $700,000,000,000. On what? Nobody knows. For only 0.0000000085642857% of the annual defense budget, you can do the same. But for your Steam Deck.

Checkmate, Eisenhower.

Much like Valve's OEM carrying purse, the Travel Cover protects your Steam Deck (including the OLED model) when you aren't using it. Unlike said purse, the Travel Cover won't embarrass you in public.

Gabe Newell once said, "an imprecise case is like having no case at all." We later learned from the local psych ward that "Gabe" was both an impostor and several days into a mescaline trip. Did that make him wrong? Absolutely not. Much like Gabe's straitjacket, Project Killswitch fits your Steam Deck perfectly. Thanks, psych ward.

The Steam Deck is heavy. Your wrists are weak. We can't solve either of these problems. We can, however, give you a Kickstand with built-in microSD card storage. In addition to giving your wrists some much-needed relief, it's also great for local multiplayer. Now, you just need friends.

See this mounting hardware? In addition to providing an attachment mechanism for the removable Kickstand, it also gives us an opportunity to gouge you on additional attachments in the future. Consider yourself warned.

That ecosystem we just told you about? It starts with our universal mount. Strap an external battery, phone holder, or your half-eaten burrito to the back of your Killswitch and go to town. Who are we kidding? You don't even leave your house.

See those microscopic ridges? Each is a textured dot, invisible to the naked eye. There are tens of thousands of them lining the handles of Project Killswitch, creating a tremendous number of grippy contact points for your butterfingers. The result? You’ll never drop your Steam Deck again.

Remember that grippy texture we just told you about? We asked a group of world-famous grip scientists to make it even grippier. Their solution: add liquid-black grip strips to the sides of Project Killswitch. If only they'd learned how to file a patent.

Much like the name implies, Stick Grips add grip to your thumbsticks. The textured surface, convex-domed center and raised perimeter combine to provide maximum resistance at full tilt. Your thumbs won't slip, no matter how greasy they may be.

Meticulously precise, polished edges smoother than your brain, and compatible with both the etched-glass 512GB Steam Deck as well as the Steam Deck OLED. What more could you ask for in a screen protector? If your answer was "a second piece of glass included in every package, in case I screw up the first one", we've got good news.

In case the rock you’ve been living under didn’t have internet access, dbrand makes customizable skins. They're easy to apply, leave no adhesive residue, and feature dozens of unique designs. Take your pick - when we judge your tastes, we'll do so silently.

We've spent more money than the Fed trying to save humans from themselves. The result? Detailed, award-winning tutorial videos that you can watch right here. Once you're finished, you'll understand why we gave ourselves a fake award.