“It’s just tempered glass. I can buy a 500-pack of that shit on Amazon for like three bucks.” You’re not wrong, chief. You can also buy 188 McDoubles instead of a tender slab of Wagyu beef. For the price of just twelve and a half McDoubles, you're getting the tastiest tempered glass on the planet. Dinner is served.

Steve Jobs once said, "a peeling screen protector is like having no screen protector at all." We later learned from the local psych ward that "Steve" was both an impostor and several days into a mescaline trip. Did that make him wrong? Absolutely not. True to his ramblings, our ROG Ally Screen Protector covers your entire active display to maximize protection with zero lifting around the edges. Thanks, Steve.

We know what you're thinking: "why would I need silky-smooth chamfered edges on my ROG Ally Tempered Glass?" Truthfully, you don't. It's a pointless luxury owed to the fact that we also make Tempered Glass for smartphones. Pointless luxuries aren't free. Time to pay up.

Imagine you're a typical human, covered from hand to toe in disgusting oils. Not much of a stretch. Now imagine you bought a nicer handheld than you deserve. Again, not too far from reality. Lucky for your screen, dbrand Glass has an oleophobic coating to repel your disgusting hand oils. You're welcome.

Take a look at this photo. Let us know what you see. "But dbrand," you're saying, "I can't see anything!" Congratulations, brainlet. You passed the test. See, dbrand Tempered Glass for the ROG Ally is so optically clear, we didn't even bother trying to capture it on camera.

Every order comes with two pieces of Tempered Glass, for when you inevitably screw up your first installation attempt. We know you're far from perfect. In fact, we're banking on it.

We've spent more money than the Fed trying to save humans from themselves. The result? Detailed, award-winning tutorial videos that you can watch right here. Once you're finished, you'll understand why we gave ourselves a fake award.