Grab a hammer. Smash your phone's screen. Congrats: you just broke your phone. How could you possibly have prevented this unavoidable tragedy? Let us introduce you to the Prism™. Made with a revolutionary dual-layer hybrid material, the Prism™ features mind-bending impact resistance. Once you've bought a replacement phone, get a Prism™ and try the hammer trick again. We guarantee you won't be buying a third.
Look at your hands. What do you see? That’s right - a blundering set of extremities that can barely manage to open an automatic door. Despite presenting no danger to your life, medical professionals have explicitly forbidden you from even thinking about installing a screen protector. Hold on, brainlet - we’ve got a second opinion. Grab a phone cable. Plug it in. Congratulations: you’re halfway through a Prism™ installation. While our Stabilizer™ alignment tool won’t cure your medical condition, at least you’ll be buried alongside a perfectly-applied screen protector.
Remember when we suggested that anyone could perfectly apply a Prism™ screen protector using our revolutionary Stabilizer™ alignment tool? That doesn’t apply to you. See, you’re a special class of idiot. The kind of idiot who needs a second mask to cover their nose. Of course you'd find a way to fuck up a Prism™ installation. Your incompetence is why each order includes a second Prism™, free of charge. You can thank us by buying the first one.