Apple thought they could outsmart us with un-skinnable hardware. They were probably sitting in their all-white boardroom, laughing at the very idea of a Mac Pro skin. "Hahah - they won’t be able to wrap that... the development alone would cost a fortune!" You’re damn right it would, Tim Apple. That’s why we announced our 400 IQ pricing strategy: $999.95 for the stand, $4,999.95 for the display, and as for the tower... well, if Apple wants to sell a 4TB SSD for $1,400, we have no problem selling some 3M vinyl for $52,748.95. Checkmate.
The Mac Pro and Pro Display XDR presented a unique set of design challenges for our R&D robots. How many holes could we precisely cut onto a sheet of vinyl? How long until one of those holes opened a portal to another dimension? Would that parallel universe also allow us to profit obscenely from our revolutionary Mac Pro skins? The costs associated with solving these problems account for precisely zero percent of the MSRP you see here. "Where does the other 100% of the cost go," you ask? Simple - into our bank account. Directly into our bank account.
You just bought a 2019 Mac Pro + Pro Display XDR. You billed it to your company. You immediately realize that your absurd purchasing decision may very well cost you a job. You need to hide your Mac Pro, but you also need it for browsing Reddit or whatever. Settle down, human. This is literally what our product was designed for. Here’s what you do: grab your company card and double down on that expense with a Black Camo skin. Let’s be real - if you made it this far, chances are you can get away with another 58 grand before the finance department notices. Heads-up, though: the installation process takes like nine hours. Make sure you're applying it away from prying eyes, otherwise your irrational spending might turn into an incapacitating lawsuit. Either way, tell your CFO to forget about coming after us - we already spent the money.
Normally, we’d take this section as an opportunity to highlight how easy the purchasing process is. How our customization interface was developed from the ground-up to enable a unique, real-time preview of your Mac Pro skin and Pro Display XDR skin. We’d detail the intricacies behind our confidence-inspiring, enterprise-grade transaction security. Not today. Our mission with the 2019 Mac Pro is simple: profit more from one outrageously wealthy capitalist than we could a thousand regular peasants. Until that mission is complete, we’ll just be over here engineering the ventilation cutouts for maximum cash flow. dbrand: It’s not a product. It’s a culture.™